Choose Heaven or Hell?
While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck
and dies.
His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
"Welcome to heaven," says Saint Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is
a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're
not sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in," says the man.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you
spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend
eternity."
"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the senator.
"I'm sorry, but we have our rules."
And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down,
down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf
course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his
friends and other politicians who had worked with him.
Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his
hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the
expense of the people.
They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and
champagne.
Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time
dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he
realizes it, it is time to go.
Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises...
The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter
is waiting for him.
"Now it's time to visit heaven."
So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving
from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and,
before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St.
Peter returns.
"Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your
eternity."
The senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I would never have
said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be
better off in hell."
So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.
Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land
covered with waste and garbage.
He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in
black bags as more trash falls from above.
The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. "I don't
understand," stammers the senator. "Yesterday I was here and there was a
golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne,
and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage
and my friends look miserable. What happened?"
The devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were
campaigning......Today you voted."
A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck,
and everyone inside dies. As they stand at the Pearly Gates
waiting to enter Paradise and meet their maker, God decides to
grant each person one wish because of the grief they have
experienced.
They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is. "I
want to be gorgeous," and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done.
The second one in line hears this and says "I want to be gorgeous
too." Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted.
This goes on for a while with each one asking to be gorgeous, but when
God is halfway down the line, the last guy in the line starts laughing.
When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor,
laughing his head off.
Finally, God reaches this last guy and asks him what his wish will be.
The guy eventually calms down and says:
"Make 'em all ugly again."
More from the Mind of DJ Chuck Dog...You are on Page 8...
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While walking down the street one day a US senator is tragically hit by a truck
and dies.
His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
"Welcome to heaven," says Saint Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is
a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're
not sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in," says the man.
"Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you
spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend
eternity."
"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven," says the senator.
"I'm sorry, but we have our rules."
And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down,
down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf
course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his
friends and other politicians who had worked with him.
Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his
hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the
expense of the people.
They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and
champagne.
Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time
dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he
realizes it, it is time to go.
Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises...
The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter
is waiting for him.
"Now it's time to visit heaven."
So, 24 hours pass with the senator joining a group of contented souls moving
from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and,
before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St.
Peter returns.
"Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your
eternity."
The senator reflects for a minute, then he answers: "Well, I would never have
said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be
better off in hell."
So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.
Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land
covered with waste and garbage.
He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in
black bags as more trash falls from above.
The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. "I don't
understand," stammers the senator. "Yesterday I was here and there was a
golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne,
and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage
and my friends look miserable. What happened?"
The devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were
campaigning......Today you voted."
A bus carrying only ugly people crashes into an oncoming truck,
and everyone inside dies. As they stand at the Pearly Gates
waiting to enter Paradise and meet their maker, God decides to
grant each person one wish because of the grief they have
experienced.
They're all lined up, and God asks the first one what the wish is. "I
want to be gorgeous," and so God snaps His fingers, and it is done.
The second one in line hears this and says "I want to be gorgeous
too." Another snap of His fingers and the wish is granted.
This goes on for a while with each one asking to be gorgeous, but when
God is halfway down the line, the last guy in the line starts laughing.
When there are only ten people left, this guy is rolling on the floor,
laughing his head off.
Finally, God reaches this last guy and asks him what his wish will be.
The guy eventually calms down and says:
"Make 'em all ugly again."
More from the Mind of DJ Chuck Dog...You are on Page 8...
Where you wanna go????
(((Pages 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 DJChuckDog Home Page)))
From the Mind of DJ Chuck Dog Pg. 8