| Count the "F's" in the following red text: FINISHED FILES ARE THE RE SULT OF YEARS OF SCIENTIFIC STUDY COMBINED WITH THE EXPERIENCE OF YEARS... If you counted 3 "F's", then you are normal, but wrong. Click Here for the answer. Think you're smart!?!?! Take this IQ Test..... Click Here. For Safety Advice........Click Here There is a mute who wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing one's teeth, he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done. Now, if there is a blind man who wishes to buy a pair of sunglasses, how should he express himself? For the answer..........Click Here. Some of the people on this site are men, and some are women. See if you can tell the difference. Good Luck...........................Click Here. A Poor man wanted some cigarettes, but he had no money to buy them. He found that if he collected cigarette butts, he could make one cigarette for every five butts found. He found 25 butts. How many could he smoke? For the answer...........Click Here. A man has three daughters, and each one has a brother. How many children does the man have? For the answer...............Click Here. A ghetto homework assignment...Use each vocabulary word in a sentence. 1. Hotel - I gave my girlfriend crabs, and the ho tel everybody 2. Dictate - My girlfriend say my dictate good. 3. Catacomb - I saw Don King at da fight the other night. Man, somebody get that catacomb. 4. Foreclose - If I pay alimony today, I got no money foreclose. 5. Rectum - I had two Cadillac's, but my girlfriend rectum both. 6. Penis - I went to the doctor and he handed me a cup and said penis. 7. Isreal - Tito try to sell me a Rolex, I say, "Man, it look fake." He say, "Bullshit, that watch Isreal!" 8. Acoustic - When I was little, my uncle bought me acoustic and took me to the poolhall. 9. Iraq - When we got to the poolhall, I told my uncle, "Iraq you break." 10. Fortify - I asked this ho on da street, "How much?" She say, "Fortify." 11. Income - I just got in bed wif da ho and income my wife. SON COMPETITION Four Catholic ladies are having coffee together, discussing how important their children are. The first one tells her friends, "My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him "Father." The second Catholic woman chirps, "Well, my son is a bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, 'Your Grace.'" The third Catholic woman says smugly, "Well, not to put you down, but my son is a cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say 'Your Eminence.'" The fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence. The first three women give her this subtle "Well...?" She replies, "My son is a gorgeous, 6'2," hard bodied, well hung, Male stripper. Whenever he walks into a room, women say, "My God.. A CHRISTMAS WISH There was a man who worked for the Post Office, whose job it was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses. One day, a letter came to his desk, addressed in a shaky handwriting, to God. He thought he should open it to see what it was about. He opened it and read: Dear God, I am an 83 year old widow, living on a very small pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had $100.00 in it, which was all the money I had until my next pension check. Next Sunday is Christmas, and I had invited two of my friends over for dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with. I have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope. Can you please help me? The postal worker was touched. He showed the letter to all of the other workers. Each of them dug into his wallet and came up with a few dollars. By the time he made the rounds, he had collected $96.00, which they put into an envelope and sent to the woman. The rest of the day, all of the workers felt a warm glow for the kind thing they had done. Christmas came and went. A few days later, another letter came from the old lady, to God. All of the workers gathered around while the letter was opened. It read: Dear God, How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because of your gift of love, I was able to fix a glorious dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day and I told my friends of your wonderful gift. By the way, there was $4 missing. I think it must have been those thieving bastards at the Post Office. FIVE KINDS OF SEX The 1st kind of sex is called: Smurf Sex. This kind of sex happens when you first meet someone and you both have sex until you are blue in the face. The 2nd kind of sex is called: Kitchen Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for a short time and you are so horny you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen. The 3rd kind of sex is called: Bedroom Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for a long time. Your sex has gotten routine and you usually have sex only in your bedroom. The 4th kind of sex is called: Hallway Sex. This is when you have been with your partner for too long. When you pass each other in the hallway you both say "Fuck You". The 5th kind of sex is called: Courtroom Sex. This is when you cannot stand your wife any more. She takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone. Ooops.. Don't forget Social Security Sex. You get a little each month.. But not enough to live on! More from the Mind of DJ Chuck Dog.......You are on Page 3. Where you wanna go (((Pages 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 DJChuckDog Home Page))) |
The Mind of DJ Chuck Dog (page 3)