Page Title
THE BASEBALL GLOVE
A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work.
Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom
closet to watch.
The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not
realizing that the little boy is in there already.
The little boy says, 'Dark in here.'
The man says, 'Yes, it is.'
Boy: 'I have a baseball.'
Man: 'That's nice'
Boy: 'Want to buy it?'
Man: 'No, thanks.'
Boy: 'My Dad's outside.'
Man: 'OK, how much?'
Boy: '$250'
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy
and the lover are in the closet together.
Boy: 'Dark in here.'
Man: 'Yes, it is.'
Boy: 'I have a baseball glove.'
The lover, remembering the
last time, asks the boy, 'How much?'
Boy: '$750'
Man: 'Sold.'
A few days later, the Dad says to the boy, 'Grab your glove, let's go outside and
have a game of catch.'
The boy says, 'I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove.'
The Dad asks, 'How much did you sell them for?'
Boy: '$1,000'
The Dad says, 'That's terrible to over charge your friends like that...that is way more
than those two things cost. I'm taking you to church, to confession.'
They go to the church and the Dad makes the little boy sit in the confessional booth
and closes the door.
The boy says, 'Dark in here.'
The priest says, 'Don't start that shit again; you're in my closet now.'
HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Try everything twice.
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down. (Keep this in mind if you
are one of those grouches.)
3. Keep learning: Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever.
Never let the brain get idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.' And the devil's
name is Alzheimer's!
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath... And if you have a
friend who makes you laugh, spend lots and lots of time with HIM/HER.
6. The tears happen: Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us
our entire life, is ourselves. LIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love: Whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music,
plants, hobbies, whatever.
Remember: Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is
beyond what you can improve, get help. You are worth it!
9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county, to a foreign
country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
11. Forgive now those who made you cry. You might not get a second time.
And if you don't send this to at least 7 people - who cares? But do share this with
someone ... as it's a joy to be thought of kindly!
Lost time can never be found! So make sure you find time to love unconditionally!
Night Clubbing
I ended up with an older woman at a club last night.
She looked pretty good for a 65-year-old. In fact, she wasn't too bad at
all, and I found myself thinking that she probably had a really hot
daughter.
We drank a bit, and we had a bit of a snuggle, and she asked if I ever
had a "Sportsman's Double?"
'What's that?' I asked.
'It's a mother and daughter threesome,' she said.
"Oh..." I said as my mind began to embrace the idea, 'No, I haven't.'
And I wondered what this daughter of hers might look like. We drank a
bit more, then she says with a wink that tonight was 'my lucky night.
I went back to her place.
We walked in.
She put on the hall light and shouted upstairs:
'Mom, you still awake'?
More from the Mind of DJ Chuck Dog.....You are on Page 11.
Where you wanna go??
(((Pages 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 DJChuckDog Home Page)))
A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work.
Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom
closet to watch.
The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not
realizing that the little boy is in there already.
The little boy says, 'Dark in here.'
The man says, 'Yes, it is.'
Boy: 'I have a baseball.'
Man: 'That's nice'
Boy: 'Want to buy it?'
Man: 'No, thanks.'
Boy: 'My Dad's outside.'
Man: 'OK, how much?'
Boy: '$250'
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy
and the lover are in the closet together.
Boy: 'Dark in here.'
Man: 'Yes, it is.'
Boy: 'I have a baseball glove.'
The lover, remembering the
last time, asks the boy, 'How much?'
Boy: '$750'
Man: 'Sold.'
A few days later, the Dad says to the boy, 'Grab your glove, let's go outside and
have a game of catch.'
The boy says, 'I can't, I sold my baseball and my glove.'
The Dad asks, 'How much did you sell them for?'
Boy: '$1,000'
The Dad says, 'That's terrible to over charge your friends like that...that is way more
than those two things cost. I'm taking you to church, to confession.'
They go to the church and the Dad makes the little boy sit in the confessional booth
and closes the door.
The boy says, 'Dark in here.'
The priest says, 'Don't start that shit again; you're in my closet now.'
HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Try everything twice.
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down. (Keep this in mind if you
are one of those grouches.)
3. Keep learning: Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever.
Never let the brain get idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.' And the devil's
name is Alzheimer's!
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath... And if you have a
friend who makes you laugh, spend lots and lots of time with HIM/HER.
6. The tears happen: Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us
our entire life, is ourselves. LIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love: Whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music,
plants, hobbies, whatever.
Remember: Your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is
beyond what you can improve, get help. You are worth it!
9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county, to a foreign
country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
11. Forgive now those who made you cry. You might not get a second time.
And if you don't send this to at least 7 people - who cares? But do share this with
someone ... as it's a joy to be thought of kindly!
Lost time can never be found! So make sure you find time to love unconditionally!
Night Clubbing
I ended up with an older woman at a club last night.
She looked pretty good for a 65-year-old. In fact, she wasn't too bad at
all, and I found myself thinking that she probably had a really hot
daughter.
We drank a bit, and we had a bit of a snuggle, and she asked if I ever
had a "Sportsman's Double?"
'What's that?' I asked.
'It's a mother and daughter threesome,' she said.
"Oh..." I said as my mind began to embrace the idea, 'No, I haven't.'
And I wondered what this daughter of hers might look like. We drank a
bit more, then she says with a wink that tonight was 'my lucky night.
I went back to her place.
We walked in.
She put on the hall light and shouted upstairs:
'Mom, you still awake'?
More from the Mind of DJ Chuck Dog.....You are on Page 11.
Where you wanna go??
(((Pages 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 DJChuckDog Home Page)))