The 2011 Shank'em Classic Golf Tournament
Broken Arrow Golf Club (Lockport, IL)
Saturday, July 23, 2011
Statistics and Review
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Excused Absences
I try to find laughter in just about every situation in life. Listed below are the top ten excuses I actually
received via email on why some people could not participate in the 2011 Shank'em Classic. (If one of these is
yours, don't take it personally, it is just for comedic purposes). These are the EXACT words used, I did not
alter them at all. I did, however, add a bit of commentary after each for humor. My commentary is in BLUE.
10. I will just be returning from a week long trip so can't make it. Ooops err umm, what I meant ta say
was...Just gettin' back home and da wife says we spendin' Saturday at the mall!!!
9. I'm already playing on the 24th, and leaving for vacation early on the 25th. I'll need the 23rd to pack, or my
wife will divorce me. An entire day to pack huh?!?!
8. I dislocated my finger yesterday and will not be able to play for the next 2 weeks. OMG, Sounds serious
guess we gonna hafta call you lefty?
7. Due to a sprained knee, I will have to drop out of the Shank'em Classic. OMG!!! The old sprained knee huh,
that's a good one. Get da man some crutches!!
6. just started a new job. Congratulations, do you get days off??
5. First game of our summer basketball pro-am league playoff game is Saturday. Hmmm is it da first game or a
playoff game...See wha' ha' happen' was umm....
4. I will just be getting back in town from Europe so I might be wiped out from the flight. I can see how
strenuous sitting on an airplane can be. Yeah, you'll be really tired from all that resting.
3. I will be playing in cour de lane idaho that week. Ok Ok, now who really goes to Idaho??
2. ma brothers due to this heat wave for saturday am going to stay inside,i cant afford to get sick,i have no sick
time,and no vacation plus am on probation. You in bad shape. Hope you don't catch a cold. Oh waitta minute, dis is
July!!!
1. my pitcher broke her toe. I've got to spend the weekend searching for a new pitcher. Those pitchers!!!! They
just don't make em like they used to. Perhaps you should check the waiver wire, or your farm system.
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Summary
We had 34 golfers participate in the 2011 Shank'em Classic Golf Tournament. 17 Per flight. The weather really
cooperated, as it was a bit overcast, hardly any wind, low to mid 80s, and most importantly NO RAIN!!!! With all
the rain from Friday Night, we fully expected a flooded course, but as you can see in the pictures (Click Here to
view) the course was in great shape. There was very little standing water in the fairways or rough, and only a
handful of sandtraps contained water.
The heavy rains did two things for us: (1), reduced our length on our drives, and (2), allowed us to aim directly at
the flags as most approaches were landing softly onto the greens. Many players took advantage of the
conditions, perhaps none as impressively on par 3 holes as Roger Crockett, who won two CTP's. One on the 3rd
hole where he stuck his tee shot to within 5 feet of the pin, and his second on the 15th hole where he was within
3 feet.